Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
