Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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