and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
