random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
