I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
