i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
