Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
