How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Randomize
