I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
