last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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