i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize