um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
