yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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