i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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