I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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