i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
