We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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