Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
