You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
