yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
