jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
