My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
