If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize