I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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