It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
