Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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