I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
