Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
