her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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