ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
