I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
