Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
