My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
