people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
