Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
