just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
