we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
