Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
