Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
