Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
