Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
