You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I said "one day" and that day is not today
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
