drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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