she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
