That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
