you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The adults are the big ones right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
