woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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