Im at strip club and am horny
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
