oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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