it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
