That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
