We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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