A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
