Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
