Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
