Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
