Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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