I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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