Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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