Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
