I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
