By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
