Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
