too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
