You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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