Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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