And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
