Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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