I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
