Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just found a bag of teeth...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
