Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
