Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
