And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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