i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize