Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
