I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
