I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize