Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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