barbara walters just said penis...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
