I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
