I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
